Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Do you still have your period?
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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