She announced her abortion via fbk
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
