it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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