When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
