she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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