i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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