I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
