Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
