You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Let's paint friendship bongs
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
