My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
