I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
