I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
