how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
