Don't EVER smell your tampon
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
