I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
