Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
its not stalking. its research.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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