Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
