No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
