Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
