So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
