I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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