we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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