so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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