I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
