shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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