It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We're not piercing ourselves today.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
