My balls are so social today.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
