I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
