Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
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