You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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