i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
