Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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