He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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