I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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