So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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