belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
