We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
