My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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