I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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