So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
