we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
