This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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