addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
