I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
