The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
