I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
