we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Someone came in the potted fern
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
