She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
