Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
