Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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